BIOHAZARD / Viking Films, Fred Olen Ray - 1985

Okay, here we go with another Fred Olen Ray monster abomination... The story line is simple, probably as simple as writing it down on a napkin at Denny's in North Hollywood. It goes like this... An alien monster uses a psychic to try to take over the Earth!

But, this damn thing stars two Dungeon Faves, Angelique (MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND) Pettyjohn and Aldo (THE POWER) Ray. And, get this... The monster is played by Fred's 5 year old son, Christopher!!

The best way to make it seem like there's a biohazard emergency is to get a biohazard suit and geiger counter, then walk around in the hills outside LA, that's it!

Government officials and a General watch as beautiful psychic Lisa Martyn gets in touch with an alien being... From another mundo yet! Don't look too closely at what a piece of crap Lisa's helmet is!!

The Professor at the facility tries to program the keyboard in the key of C- during a break!

Wow, Aldo is freakin' drunk on his ass as he tries to delivery his silly lines, sad!

Here you go, the first victim of the creature's little razor sharp claw!

Lisa is attracted to Mitchell Carter, played by William (DEEP SPACE) Fair, I simply can't show you what happens after the kiss, but, hubba, hubba, hubba!! After that, they become a team to hunt down the alien. If you can't tell, that's a wig on Lisa.

Here's this dude working away, doing, well... something! He gets it of course. Those boxes in the background caught my eye, I'm pretty damn sure those boxes are full of Fred's DVDs from his movies since Eegah!! and I have some of those from our movie, THE CREEP!!

This nice looking shot reminds me of a park scene from our unfinished masterpiece, VIRUS MAN!.. Hey Yo, Greg!! Oh yeah, those bums get deaded...

Then, this shot reminds me of our great little movie, SILVER ANGEL vs THE DEATH ZOMBIES because it starts with a dumpster at night. Love night shots!

They would be remiss to not include egg laying parasites!.. Right?! 1985, Baby!!

...TOUCHDOWN!!!

Then, Fred pulls the switch and electrocutes his own son! Well, you gots'ta do whatever it takes to get this freakin' thing in the can!!

I'll end with a little homage to our Dungeon Gal Pal, Angelique Pettyjohn, she gets the last word. Tune in again on Wednesday when we continue down the old musty monster trail...

DIE TOTE AUS DER THEMSE - "Angels Of Terror" - "The Dead One In The Thames River" Edgar Wallace (1971)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special is a good one! Whether you want to call it "Die Tote Der Themse," "Angels Of Terror," or "The Dead One In The Thames River," it doesn't matter, because the end result is the same no matter what, this movie is pure 1971.

The story is based loosely on a book titled "The Angel Of Terror" by Edgar Wallace!
The music in "Die Tote Aus Der Themse" is by the always brilliant Peter Thomas, and here's just a couple of minutes to prove my point!

I pulled up this shot from much later in the film and flipped it so you could see where they got the design for the title card lettering from!

Drug deal gone wrong, drug informant misfire, dead girl or maybe not, it's an Edgar Wallace tale, anything goes!

For some reason, the gal that just got shot lives in an apartment building that doubles as a house of ill repute, so when there's a shot or two, all the girls quit their business to come and take a look since the door is wide open!

Another woman who looks just like the other woman suddenly appears, and we find out that it's her sister who has just had her round trip airfare paid by her sister who just supposedly got shot! I say supposedly, because after the gawkers all went back to work, the body suddenly disappeared!

This is Uschi Glas, who has had a remarkable career in our kinda movies like "The Sinister Monk," "The College Girl Murders," and "Gorilla Gang," and is in part three, as well as parts one and two, of an ongoing series called "Suck Me Shakspeer" in pre-production this year!

This movie gives shooting heroin new meaning!

Never take for granted how lucky you are to be alive! Werner Peters died at the age of 52 a month or so after this movie was made! The meat slaughter house scenes will be pretty repulsive if you're a vegan. You might want to keep your remote control handy with your finger on fast forward!

"Die Tote Aus Der Themse" is a movie about patterns, lots of crazy patterns!

It makes it fun to watch!!

I never thought about it before, but I guess in Europe they don't abide by the no 13th floor rule!

Once again, it's Siegfried Schürenberg as Sir John who is probably going to have to save the day! Pervy Sir John is so happy in this shot because he is reviewing some slides of photos taken by the photographer who took a picture of the dead body, and has found some nice nudie cutie pix!

Then Sir John finds a very unattractive picture of himself that the photographer took of him, and he orders the film to be destroyed!!

One thing about whoever is picking off all these people, they are a crack shot! They all get shot in the head, and one time, the victim's companion after seeing the bullet hole in the head says "call an ambulance!"

Now that is a hot phone!

I lost count how many times this happens, four or five I think!

Pretty wild looking living room! I don't approve of the bear skin rug, but the skulls in the cabinet are pretty cool!

I got lucky and got this great composite shot of Siegfried and Werner in a final confrontation scene between two olde golfing buddies! That's one of the things I like about these movies, the clowning around is always offset by some serious shit!

But what, that still didn't stop the shooting rampage?

 "I can tell by the way she is dressed that you two are obviously guilty, and I'm arresting you for heroin smuggling and murder!

I liked this crazy movie, and I think I just might read the book myself to see how different it must surely be! Can't hardly lose for a five-spot!

 Here's just one place you can get it!

WILLIE WHOPPER in 'Stratos-Fear' / Celebrity Productions - 1933

It's time for a cartoon!.. Here's a fun little story about Willie Whopper, he goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled and when he's given some gas, he floats off into space and ends up in another world where he battles several cool looking bad guys!

So, Willie's at the weirdo dentist's office to get a tooth pulled, when he gets some gas and the dentist is picking out his tools, well, Willie fills up with gas, crashes through the roof and heads into space!!

He just keeps on floating away from Earth and who knows where he'll end up?!..

Meanwhile, on a distant planet, these strange creatures are experimenting on animals...

Like this pig they turn into footballs and meat parts!

Then, the guy with the built-in telescope in his head spots something flying through space! The other monsters join in to catch a look at the strange object.

A meteor hits Willie in the gut and knocks the gas out of him! He then falls toward the planet!

Willie then gets to meet the head monster, and, he doesn't like what he sees!

When Willie tries to escape out a window, well, it's just a poster and bonks his head but good!

Then, here are these Wolvertonesque Goons that multiply right before your eyes. I love all the oddball creatures, I think they're the best part of the cartoon.

These two things are part of a band, again, great character designs!

This horn playing critter likes to blow bubbles (SpongeBob and Patrick) after having water shot into his horn by that rubber hose snake!

What's going on here! Why's there a sultry woman trying to put the make on our little hero?!

Actually, it's a diversion to get Willie to stop running away, but...

Now the head monster has Willie just where he wants him!.. Time to experiment!!!

Of course, Willie finally wakes up from his sleep and the dentist has his bad tooth pulled... Whatta Whopper! So, see's you all tomorrow with more Dungeon Cargo!!